Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
