I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i think i have two assholes
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
It's shark week go big or go home
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
