drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
you inspire me to be a worse person
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
