I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Pooping to opera.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
