In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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