And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
