So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
