I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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