pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
