Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize