why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
We're too hungover to prance.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
