I'm really into asian looking animals
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Randomize
