whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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