Will you blow on my dice?
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
