It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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