Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
