Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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