Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
she peed on how many people?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
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