Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
