Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
