I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
This is the high leading the old right now
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
