Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
