That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
