I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
