you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
