and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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