who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
