Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
