But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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