it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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