im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
