Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize