He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
