...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize