my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
