so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize