VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Randomize
