I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Randomize