Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
