how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
