I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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