Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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