But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
