I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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