You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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