and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
