I feel great
I just peed on a car
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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