u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
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