I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
She is in my trunk
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Bring me that man meat
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
