Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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