What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
