I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Acid is not a monday night drug
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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