The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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