I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize