At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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