I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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