On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
