I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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