yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
