I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
