Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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