Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
