I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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