thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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