Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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