cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
