So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
