@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
