me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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